Going back to the roots.

Today, on a whim, I’ve decided to change my online ”tarot persona” from Swedish Tarot Girl to Tarot by Ania.

Why is that? First of all, because I like change and to freshen things up! I’ve always been one of those people who gets tired of hobbies and things quickly, and moves on to new things. I’m surprised tarot has kept my interest for so long…

And second, I feel like I need to reconsider how I view tarot, how I want others to view me when it comes to my online presence as a tarot reader, and what kind of reading style I want to commit to.

Here comes some of my shadow work for you… I’ve always been a bit of a copy cat. It’s not a flattering thing to admit, but it is what it is. I’ve had a hard time, since childhood, loving myself and accepting myself. It has gotten a lot better in recent years, but when I was a child/teenager it was pretty bad. It wasn’t about copying clothes, hair style, hobbies, but rather I’d copy personality, mannerisms, and traits others had.

I was an unhappy child, and when I befriended someone who seemed happy, I’d copy them in hope of becoming as happy as they seemed. I thought that if I walked, talked and acted the same way – I’d pick up on happiness. Well, needless to say, I didn’t…

In recent years I’ve completely stopped copying like that, but instead I’ve often felt that I’m prone to taking on different ”mentors” very easily. I’m a perfect fool for all those self-help gurus! If I find a book that gives me comfort I often go all in and adopt basically everything that person stands for. Then I quickly lose interest and move on to the next guru…

Now, it isn’t as extreme as it may sound, my book shelves aren’t overflowing with books called ”Your True Self” and ”Starting Over – Yet Again”, but it’s still a tendency I’ve noticed when it comes to my soul searching. I do feel lucky I’ve never fallen for some life coach’s insanely expensive course ending up teaching me nothing but to say ”I love myself” in front of the mirror each day… Ugh. That would’ve been a bummer. Or a cult. Now, that would’ve been a bummer…

How does this go with my tarot interest? (Since that is what my blog is about!)… Because during the last two years I’ve become so much more interested in tarot studies and tarot books. And I’m starting to feel like I’ve lost my own view on tarot.

I used to have a very ”simple” approach, that I learned early on in my tarot journey, where I would simply look at the cards, read them, and ta-da a reading took form! I wasn’t too concerned with books or little white booklets, I simply drew stories from my own intuition, soul, mind and spirit.

Now, I still read tarot that way, and I’m glad I do. But at times I’ve felt: Is it enough? Everyone else seems to know about kabbalah, astrology, runes, reiki healing, crystal healing, I-Ching, the Golden Dawn’s philosophies, Jung’s psychological theories, AND tarot! And they have certifications concering all those different methods… So am I enough?

Starting to charge for my readings did bring those thoughts up, and made me hesitate for months before opening up my own little Etsy shop. And I now wonder, why?! Why was I so anxious? Why don’t I trust my abilities as a tarot reader?

The answer to that question is long, and I won’t bore you with it. But, this is my way of starting fresh, and from now on I will trust myself as a tarot reader. It’s what I am. I read tarot cards. If someone wants reiki, crystal healing, I-Ching coin divination, or a lecture on philosophies by the Golden Dawn… Then they shouldn’t bother with contacting me.

IMG_20151114_201019

If they want a damn good, useful, practical tarot card reading – Please come on in, sit down, make yourself comfortable and oh yeah, do you prefer Earl Grey or Camomille tea?

Annonser

Kommentera

Fyll i dina uppgifter nedan eller klicka på en ikon för att logga in:

WordPress.com Logo

Du kommenterar med ditt WordPress.com-konto. Logga ut / Ändra )

Twitter-bild

Du kommenterar med ditt Twitter-konto. Logga ut / Ändra )

Facebook-foto

Du kommenterar med ditt Facebook-konto. Logga ut / Ändra )

Google+ photo

Du kommenterar med ditt Google+-konto. Logga ut / Ändra )

Ansluter till %s