Ethics – Why do we not trust the seeker?

During August and September I did a lot of free readings for Biddy Tarot. And something that was constantly being discussed, just like on Aeclectic Tarot Forum and tons of tarot blogs, was ethics. Is it okay to do third party readings? Is it okay to try to predict the future? Is it okay to ask the tarot about legal matters, health, sickness, death, or psychological issues?

And I’ve noticed that tarot readers who are against the above subjects asked in a tarot reading – They are also the loudest. They proudly state ”I don’t do readings about health, it’s unethical because it stops the seeker from going to the doctor!” or ”I don’t spy on strangers, so no third party readings for me, ever!”.

When it comes to tarot books the approach is often softer and goes along the lines of ”Some tarot readers choose to not answer questions about X and Y and Z, you will have to think for yourself here and see what feels right for you to do.”. But it does come with a hint of ”Are you sure you should…?”, doesn’t it?

But yes, back to the free readings I was doing. The most beneficial thing for me as tarot student was to answer basically ANY question. I really like how Bridget from Biddy Tarot almost always told hesitating readers ”Just give the question a try, you might be surprised at how well it goes”. I took this advice myself a couple of times, and it was a great learning experience.

One time a woman asked about her ex-boyfriend. She wanted to know if he missed her, if he ever had regrets about breaking up, what he thought when he saw her, etc… So yes, a total third party reading. Did I try to ask her to change her question to make it ”ethical”? I did. But she persisted! She knew her own feelings and thoughts already. She really wanted to ask those questions about her ex, not ”her own desires and soul’s wishes” etc.

I pondered for a few days. Should I break my ethics?! But ”everyone” says it’s not alright to do third party readings?!

What do you think I did?

Okay, I did the reading, basically asking the tarot cards her questions. I did it with the intention of not reading his mind, so to speak, but rather ”If it harms no one to find out these answers, please let us know!”. I also told her that if someone is blocking their feelings (as in, doesn’t want ANYONE to know about X and Y, or does protection rituals etc.) the reading won’t be accurate, and it is impossible for me to know if he was blocking like that. (That’s just my personal belief).

As usual the reading wasn’t black or white. I don’t sugar coat so there was none of that! Some of the answers were probably what she wanted to hear (hey, we all like being missed, no?) and some were not. But I did it, and she was very happy about the reading, and thanked me so much for doing it.

Where was the harm in that? I know, some of you might gasp for air now thinking ”YOU SPY!”, but really, did we hurt anyone?

Recently reading Camelia Elias’ book on the TdM woke me up from those other ”unethical” subjects: Health, legal matters, etc… It made me think: Why do we not trust our seekers? Why do we not trust adults taking control over whatever they want to take control over?

So many tarot readers claim that they want to EMPOWER their seeker. Is it really empowering to talk to them like children then, saying ”Your question is unethical and I won’t read tarot about that, because it might harm you instead of help you!”?

Ask yourself, how do you know the seeker cannot handle the information you give them? How do you know they won’t go to the doctor AND get a tarot reading about their health issue? How do you know they cannot take responsibility for their own actions after hearing whatever it is you have to say?

Think about that, and I’ll continue my thoughts about this some other day…

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