If anyone would like to see my shadow spread in action, here’s a great video of Universal Student using it for her own reading.
In one part she talks about having those feelings of ”No that can’t be right, I’m not like that!”, but then actually accepting and understanding that what we’re exploring is the shadow side.
It’s not a job interview where we answer the question ”What are your weak traits?” with ”Oh I’m a bit of a perfectionist actually, and I tend to come too early for meetings!”… No, we’re exploring our shadows, those parts we really want to hide in our everyday life. By facing them we can also deal with them. It’s tough! It’s difficult! Doing shadow work has brought me to tears many times, because it’s not easy to face what we’re running from year after year. Facing it, seeing it, means that we have to stop running for a little while. And that’s new, it’s transformational, and it’s scary. I will always keep saying ”Change is scary”.
Change is scary.
We’re creatures who love habits. Habits make us feel safe, comfortable and calm. No matter how great the change is, it will almost always feel scary at first.
Do you know what showed up in my personal reading, regarding what I am running from, what I refuse to accept? 6 The Lovers.
I see myself as a hopeless romantic, beliving in real love and soulmates, and I’ve been looking for love for years now. So do you know how annoyed I got when I saw that I’m actually running FROM love, not towards it?! Very!
But I paused and thought about it. And at last I understood that commitment scares me. I try to tell myself that all I want is stability, comfort, being safe. But then I look at my life and I realize that I have huge problems with commitment. During the last 8 years I have moved 6 times, I have had 6 different jobs, 6 different boyfriends, and graduated from 2 different educations.
My shadow side is a very restless one.