Breaking the rules, and it sure feels good.

Oh my, where have I been?! To be honest, life has been a little hectic recently. Despite my efforts to stay single I’ve managed to find myself a boyfriend, and you know how they are, demanding attention and love every now and then! LOL all jokes aside, the last two months have been full of social events and other things keeping me busy.

In a month I start a new job, so my mind has obviously been occupied by thoughts on if I should look for a new job? Which one? Why? Why not? And so on… And here I am, having just agreed on trying something new.

I’ve also been busy trying to plan a YouTube channel. And that has hindered my blog posts a little, because I’ve been thinking “Soon I’ll start that channel instead and I won’t need a blog!” but here I am, still without having filmed one single video… I’m held back by technical difficulties, and by a lot of insecurities I’m struggling with. So until I’ve actually filmed a 5 minute video I should keep this blog alive!

The latest news about my tarot/spiritual journey is that I’m giving up on trying to use “weekly decks” and similar. For quite a long time I’ve struggled to work with one specific deck for a month, or week, and I’ve had rules about which deck to study and which deck to use for this and that… And I give up! I’m not that person. I’m simply not.

My feelings and thoughts are very elusive. As soon as I decide “Okay, this week I will work only with the Silhouette’s Tarot!” I’m drawn to the Starchild Tarot… Sigh! And I don’t feel comfortable resisting such an urge! When a deck calls for my attention it has something meaningful to tell me, I truly believe that. And is it the right thing to ignore it then, just to stick with rules other tarotistas recommend?

I often see a bit of a hypocritical stand in the tarot world. Where on one hand tarot readers/teachers are saying “There are no rules! Follow your intuition and heart!” but then they turn around saying “It’s CRUCIAL to study a deck for X months and really get to know it! And to journal about each card in that deck! And do daily draws each morning and journal about that too!”. Where did the intuition and heart go?!

Confession time: I’ve never had a card-by-card tarot journal! Never. I’ve written a couple of a paragraphs about my own readings (and sometimes not even about that!) and naturally recorded client readings (since I send out written readings by e-mail!), but never a journal where I write about each card mixing “traditional” meanings, with own impressions, intuitive thoughts, with book meanings and so on…

And why is that? Well, I don’t have the discipline or patience for that! And I don’t find it interesting. When I started studying tarot in 2004 I wanted to READ the cards! I wanted to use them! To get messages from them! And to be honest, at that time as a 17 year old girl, I wanted to foretell the future. Writing about symbols and traditional meanings didn’t really give me anything, so if I ever had a journal of this kind, it was probably tops 5 pages long…

I’ve studied at the university for four years (2007-2011) and I noticed so clearly that we all had different study styles. I got a lot from books, while skipping class, but I had many classmates who instead focused very closely in class, and hardly opened up the books. We all passed the exams – the path towards that exam just looked different.

In my heart I do not believe in rules regarding tarot. If you listen to your soul, the Universe, God/Goddess, and you feel you are on the right path doing whatever it is that you’re doing – then who am I to tell you that you’re not? Memorize all the books you find, journal for 8 hours every day, read for strangers, read without a spread, use reversals, don’t use reversals, mix it up with runes and oracle decks… Just do it! If it works then it works. If it doesn’t work, then you just try something else until you find what works.

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