What is up for discussion and debate, and what is not?

I’ve recently joined some more forums and discussion groups connected to cartomancy. When I started working with tarot that was one of the first things I did on my tarot journey – find people sharing their tarot journey online. I was always so grateful seeing the very different opinions, methods and views expressed. Symbolism, reversals, shuffling methods, spreads, keywords, meanings… There are so many things we can discuss connected to tarot!

But today I’m starting to wonder if some people just want their ego stroked or if they actually want to discuss something?

If I notice that someone has strong opinions about something I simply say, “Okay then” and move on with my life. I’m not interested in being a keyboard warrior struggling to make others agree with my arguments and views. We are all individuals. We are all so different. Why would I waste hours of my precious time on someone who obviously will never agree with me?

But what I do love is good, open, discussion. Me sharing my views, someone else sharing their views, us finding it interesting how we see things so differently and why that is. Sometimes the light bulb does light up – and I think to myself, “Hmm wow, now that she/he has explained it, I really do see why I would try that out.” And I believe someone else has probably looked at my posts similarly. That’s nice, but not really the goal so to speak.

But what I’ve noticed from joining these groups and discussions recently is the butt-hurt kind of behavior that comes from taking everything personally. Which seems very common these days – and is in my opinion very unhealthy. Simple example (not real, just a made up example):

Thread starter: “Hi! How do you guys like the Happy Tarot? I recently bought it and it’s so amazing, unique and powerful! I am so in love with this deck.”

Reply: “Oh I had it for a while but I didn’t really feel I could take it seriously with all the people smiling in it. Sold it.”

Thread starter again: “Umm okay, the thing is that the reason they’re smiling is because bla bla bla and you would understand that if you had read through the guidebook which is also amazing. You’re taking this too seriously and maybe you should reply in a different post if you don’t like my favorite deck that I wrote about!”

That’s the kind of butt-hurt behavior that makes me wonder why the person went online in the first place, and it’s what is making me want to leave almost every group out there. What does it matter that other people are not loving the same things as you are? Why does it personally offend you? When it in no way affects you.


I would love to hand out a quick free guide to the internet to all these overly sensitive people. It would say:

Do you want to show off your methods, decks, and have a monologue about your reading ethics? Okay then! Please start a blog, or a YouTube channel, or an Instagram account where you talk or write about those things. And don’t forget to turn off all kinds of commenting options! This will give you the space to share your views without anyone being able to discuss it with you.

Do you want to discuss your methods, decks, and readings ethics? Then create the above accounts, but make sure to leave the commenting options on! You can also join forums and groups where every post has a “reply” option. This way you express your views, but also have other people sharing their views. Remember that everyone won’t agree with you and when they don’t you can choose to simply move on with your life.

So pick one of the above options and be happy out there in cyber space, kids!


6 reaktioner på ”What is up for discussion and debate, and what is not?

  1. Cannot agree more. I’ve been considering leaving all the tarot groups, especially on facebook, for a while now. It’s disappointing to see people being so butthurt about someone having a different (even respectful) opinion. I don’t know why but it seems to me that these people go online just to be enabled. The thing that annoys me the most is people enabling each other to buy ridiculous amounts of decks per week. I know it’s not my business what they choose to spend their money on but it becomes my business when they spam the entire group with ”What should I buy next” or ”I bought this, ordered that and pre-ordered that today” posts to the point where any valuable discussions get buried underneath their shopping sprees.
    I’ve been thinking about writing a similar blog post to discuss this butthurt attitude and burying problems under hardcore consumerism, so I’m glad you picked up the topic! Preach it girl!


    1. Yes…I am with you gals. I’ve been added to a number of groups, but am very hesitant about actually involving myself based on observations and just knowing what the internet it like. Like, I’m glad for community, but at the same time I don’t really desire any massive involvement in forum communication or having notifications going off all day and trying to keep up with it all.


    2. Overall I prefer the smaller groups with more like-minded people, but the big groups, holy shit it doesn’t take much to have someone jump at you lol! I am considering leaving some of the bigger groups, just too many cray cray people… And you’re right, I also believe they sometimes just want to pick a fight because they’re bored with life or something.
      Haha the worst ones when it comes to the crazy consumerism is the ”OMG I don’t have anything on my wishlist?! What do I do now?! HELP!”… It’s just like, umm enjoy your decks, sweetie? Some people create problems out of NOTHING seriously.
      I’ve also noticed that when I’ve mentioned in some groups that I have put a no-new-decks ban on myself there’s always some butthurt person replying with ”I don’t see the point in punishing myself like that because it hurts no one that I collect and buy 50 new decks every week!”. Why do they even bother? I don’t care if someone else wants to hoard 100 new decks every month, I just personally don’t want that so umm I don’t lol.
      Thanks for commenting! ❤


  2. I totally agree with you. I have been lucky so far to have not seen it happen too often. However, two examples spring to mind for me. One, was someone who assumed everyone in a tarot forum had the same beliefs about high vibrations, authenticity, awakening, etc. They seemed to be ‘disappointed’ in all of us. Well, sorry about that!

    The other, was a male who felt that the Motherpeace Tarot was personally ‘attacking’ men. And continued to dominate the conversation about the deck, so as to repeatedly drive the point home. It just about cancelled out any other points of discussion anyone else might’ve liked to raise, because the thread appeared to become all about ‘yes it is attacking men,’ and ‘no, it isn’t,’ which was a shame, considering it is a deck about women!

    We all like what we like, believe what we believe, and we should be able to respectfully agree or disagree without anyone getting their knickers in a knot.


  3. You’re so funny, Ania. I totally feel you on this. Part of the reason I didn’t re-up my Aeclectic account. And, I also find that it’s all just too much sometimes. Even blogging and IG overwhelm me with peoples opinions and ideas and I find myself questioning myself or watering down my own beliefs. Are people actually practicing anything with the rate and amount that these people are commenting and posting all the time? *shurg* the community is lovely but I find I need to pull back a bit.



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