I am not afraid to show weakness, vulnerability, well, the fact that I am simply human and make mistakes… And I learn from them. That’s what matters, right? So let me share some thoughts I’ve had about my spiritual journey recently, some mistakes I’ve made.
It has crossed my mind that I have been overly guided by others for the last year or so. I’ve read tons of spiritual books, I’ve signed myself up for tons of newsletters, I’ve watched hundreds of YouTube videos, and even done the occasional course. Hmm a couple of courses come to think of it…
I recently took a step back and wow, I have for sure overwhelmed myself by being guided by outside sources.
And I realize this is not in alignment with my beliefs.
I am a firm believer that spirituality is right within us, at the core of the soul, in the heart… That’s where our own core Self is, and that’s where the connection to Source is. To be a truly “spiritual person” (such a cheesy term, but hey, can’t think of something else right now!) you need nothing more than yourself. Yes, I am even going to say that you don’t need cards, despite my collection of oracles and tarot decks, my passion for the cards… But no.
You need yourself, and the intention to go within and dig into your core truths and inner wisdom.
But throughout history humans have not been very solitary. We are naturally social creatures, so naturally in our groups we find leaders to guide us. Today a lot of us live in a very independent way, but with social media, among other things, we rely a lot on what others do, say, and think.
We might see someone like Gabrielle Bernstein on Instagram. She’s beautiful, athletic, always happy, lives in a beautiful mountain top house, writes books and coaches people for a living, has a handsome husband… And we think “I want that too! I should get her book.”.
And this is where I see the important crossroads of two paths.
Either we can purchase her book and find INSPIRATION. We let her messages awaken our own creativity and truth-seeking Soul. We sit with her journal prompts and write down our own thoughts, feelings, stories brought forth by the spark of inspiration her writing has showed us. This is what I see as healthy guidance, especially in a time when we might feel drained, stagnant, uninspired…
Then there is the other path, the one I perceive as unhealthy. That is when we buy that book, and then buy everything else she sells, and then start to copy her ways, her writing, what she says… She becomes The Guru, the all-knowing mentor, the one we want to turn into… This is harmful for our spiritual growth, because it makes us seek enlightenment, Source, sacred wisdom, inside of another human being. We cannot find it there, ever, because it’s never in someone else’s core.
This can also become a bit of an addiction to quick fixes. Getting reading after reading, hunting down new philosophies and methods constantly, acquiring tool after tool… It’s easy to feel as if we’re moving forward when our crystal collection is growing – But are we really? Or is it just our consumerist culture telling us that the more things we have the more we know?
The last step towards understanding that it is time for me to step back into what is truly my own spirituality was a tarot/psychic reading I purchased recently. The reader made me question my own intuition and heart’s wishes, and that’s when I knew I had to back away from what others say, write, show, teach…
What your own inner voice, Soul, and intuition says is ALWAYS the most important thing to listen to. If someone tells you something that doesn’t ring true at all, no matter how much of a well-known “Guru” they are, please go with your own heart instead! It doesn’t matter how “intuitively gifted” they are, only YOU have your truth. I truly believe this.
I have learned my lesson, I have heard the Universe’s message loud and clear, and I’ve taken it to heart. I’ve had a wonderful year exploring chakras, Sister Moon, crystals, Reiki… But it’s not always the right time to be an eager, productive, active student.
I have one week left of the Esoteric Healer Immersion (fantastic course by Moondaughter, about crystals and chakras mainly, which I love because there’s so much independent work involved!), and some recordings to listen to by Moonhouse Tarot (Laura knows the good stuff about The Moon! I can very much recommend her Moon lessons if you want to know the traditional way of working with The Moon!), but after that it’s time to just BE for a little while. Just breathe. Just listen to my own heartbeat.